Each birthday marks the passing of another year into the tomb of time. It means I am another year closer to my death and during the year I have passed through the anniversary of that death. I don’t mean to be morbid. It’s just a realistic view of the brevity and frailty of this life. I turned 56 yesterday. That’s only 14 more Christmases until I’m 70, a man’s allotted time on earth. Any way you calculate it, the road ahead is a whole lot shorter than the road already traveled.
It’s a frightening prospect when one is confronted with one’s own mortality. It forces one to take stock and, hopefully, prepare in such a way that one’s death is a smooth and joyful passing. But this is not just about me. I have too many unfinished projects. There are the unfilled icon orders. There is my messy, indecipherable office. There is the unfinished barn, the unpainted windows, the gas boiler that arrived yesterday, the electrical wiring that needs sorting out, the grandchildren that need guidance and love, the rain garden that needs to be completed, the homeless people who need to be fed and clothed. Then there are all the people; my wife and family and others whom I love and who love me. There are countless reasons to not embrace my mortality. Yet it stares back at me from the mirror and I am keenly aware I am on the waning not the waxing side of life.
So, for my 56th birthday, I got an MRI of my brain. I had experienced several severe, lengthy migraines with strange aura and stroke-like symptoms. As I was waiting to hear the results of my MRI, I sat on the front step of our house on Front St. in Souderton. It was a beautiful, clear day. The spring flowers were giving way to the summer flowers. I saw a man walking on the sidewalk on the far side of Chestnut St. downhill from us. His image vanished for about three feet, then reappeared, continuing to walk. The scenery suffered no interruption. It was much like a continuity flaw in stop motion animation. So I called this aura “Gumby vision”. Soon after this, my phone rang. It was the radiologist from Grand View Hospital. He told me that the MRI indicated that I had had three little strokes on the right side of my brain. I should arrange for someone to bring me to the hospital to be admitted for further study.